A Butler's Butler
by RRJToons3
Summary: After suffering over 200 years of bordom and pain, Ciel is suddenly summoned to serve a girl from the year 2013.
1. Her Butler, Suffers

**Status**: Mind blown by the "Black Butler" series. Last lines of Black Butler II:  
**Ciel**: Now the only answer you'll give me is...  
**Sebastian**: Yes, my lord.

After watching Bo-chan become a demon, I have come up with the most hilarious Kuroshitsuji fic yet! Here it is!

"Sebastian."

"Yes, my lord?"

"Hm...say your name ten times."

"Sebastian Michaelis, Sebastian Michaelis, Sebastian Michaelis, Sebastian Michealis, Sebastian Michealis, Sebastian Michealis, Sebastian Michealis, Sebastian Michealis, Sebastian Michealis, Sebastian Michealis."

"Now my name."

"Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive, Ciel Phantomhive."

"Now Grell's."

"Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff, Grell Sutcliff."

"Undertaker."

"Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker, Undertaker."

"Finnian."

"Finnian, Finnian, Finnian, Fin..."

"Stop! I feel something..."

"Like what?"

"It...feels like someone is...calling me. Like a child or something."

"Really?! Oh, Ciel! You've been summoned! Answer! Answer!"

"How...how do I do that? How do you know I'm being summoned?"

"You're a demon. Demons get summoned by the human world! Please answer, Young Master!"

"I...can't hear you!"

"But I'm right next to you!"

"No, I'm speaking to...the girl...Serena..."

"Serena...walk up to her. Meet her face to face."

"In what form?"

"Any form. Anything you like."

Ciel didn't have time to think. He changed himself quickly into a bat cat with red eyes. He looked at the girl in moderate clothes. Her eyes, indigo. Her hair, black. Her indigo eyes looked desperate. She wanted him. She needed him.

"You have a wish," Ciel replied, slightly afraid of choosing the wrong words. Said Serena nodded her head.

"Yes. I do have a wish."

Sebastian waited patienly for Ciel to complete his first contract in over 200 years of waiting and waiting, hungry for souls. Starving for something to do other than simply sitting around in Hell, suffering from heat, pain and just straight up boredom.

Hell wasn't the most promising thing they had, but it was the only thing they had. The space around them always caused them pain, and sickness.

Sebastian would often have to clean the scolding hot grounds after Ciel's constant vomiting, not that there was really much he could give out. He'd have to eat any waste just so that when the stomach pains came, he would have something to throw up. Sebastian was the same, but no one cleaned after him.

Over and over the two have tried to mark a territory so they wouldn't have to stay in Hell for so long, but they highly afraid of the moderate world.

Now, Ciel was in the form of the cat, settling a contract with a girl who just so happened to summon him.

"Sebastian," Ciel called, coming back from Serena. "I did it. I made the contract with her."

"Yes...so...soft...young master..."

"Let me go!"

"Forgive me, Young Master. You are adorable as a kitten."

"I'm a cat! Not a bloody kitten!"

"Yes, of course. I am sorry, Young Master. Will I be coming with you to this Selena?"

"Yes. I will need help with the concept of being a butler."

"Not to mention that I am _your_ butler. I might have to assist you in certain ways."

"Actually...I'm rather bringing you because I don't want to leave you here."

"That's...rather touching, my lord..."

"Just don't pick me up again."

"Yes, my lord. Shall we get going?"

Ciel nodded. "Let us go."

"Yes, my lord."


	2. Her Butler, Simply Hilarious

Author: Back! Sorry it took so long! Summer's coming! I can be consistant! ^^'

"Young Master...?" whimpered Sebastian.

"Yes, Sebastian?"

"Perhaps you might've taken a wrong turn at some point?"

"No. Why?"

"It's rather awkward in this area. Everything is so different."

"Indeed it is."

The two were standng in front of said, Serena's house. They knew this, they just had to make sense of it all. The house was so small. As they looked around, they noticed the road and it's yellow stripes. They looked up and noticed the awkward wires in the air. There were these weird machines dotting the area. Someone would walk by with wires hanging from their ears and they were certainly terrified when a car flew by. That loud noise, that akward shape, the quickness of it. What are these things?! At one point there was an entire chain of cars flying by and Ciel had to hang on to Sebastian to protect him.

"Alright, Young Master. I believe we've had enough of an eye full of the future...and *twitch* an ear full..." said Sebastian.

"Think it'll get any worse?" asked Ciel.

"It's us. Of course it will. But let's not worry about what might get worse. Let us worry about now. Shall we walk inside, Young Master?"

Ciel nodded.

The demons started onto the porch of the troubled Serena, but already, it has gotten worse.

"BASSIE!" cried a fimiliar voice.

The demon eyes widened.

"No..." they whimpered, looking toward the direction they heard the reaper's voice.

"Oh, Bassie! I haven't seen you in forever! Over 200 years, I've missed you so much!" cried Grell, holding onto Sebastian's sexy body. "All I've had to remember you by were these last pictures I took of you."

Grell pulled out the pictures he took of him whenever Sebastian needed his assistance.

"Se-Se-Sebastian! What is the meaning of this!?" gasped Ciel, observing the picture of Sebastian's ankles and his flirty faces."

"Young Master! It's...! It's...! It's not what you think! I had to save you and...!"

"You went all yaoi for Grell just to save me?!"

"No! It's not what you think! Honetly...!"

"Oh, yes, me and Sebas-chan were hitting each other all up in the ass! *rawr!*"

Sebastian kicked him in the face in response to the comment. Ciel, disgusted, sunk into the corner of the porch.

"I was hoping these moments would pop up a little later on..." he whined. "Now that I think about it...I can only imagine the ignorant people we're going to meet this time. Oh, Sebastian, please let us go inside now. I don't think I can take it any longer. Wait, why _is _Grell here?"

"I'm just here to reap the soul in this house," said Grell.

"The...the soul in this house? Serena? The one I just signed a contract with?"

"Oh, no, not her. Her current guardian, her abusive aunt, Kyle."

"Her _aunt, _Kyle?" asked Sebastian, hoping for a correction.

"Yes. Kyle is a girl."

"Yes, I've had enough. Let's go, Sebastian."

"Yes, My Lord."

"Oh, Bassie, it's been so long, can I come with you?" asked Grell.

"Sure..." muttered Sebastian, starting to open the door. "It's locked." Sebastian knocked on the door. "Nothing."

"You mean...no one's home!?"

The three stood at the door, waiting a good 20 minutes. Sebastian knocked on the door again and waited another 20 minutes.

"I would say...yes, no one is home," Sebastian finally responded.

"Oh, you two have been in Hell for too long! Do it like I do it! Just barge in!"

The demons listened to the reaper and teleported into Serena's room.

She was sitting on the bed, eagerly waiting for them the whole time. Ciel gazed into her indigo eyes. He reconized her, no doubt. He wanted her soul instantly.

"Remember, you can't feast quite yet," replied Sebastian, noticing Ciel's hungry glare.

"It's about time you got here," said Serena, standing up to greet the demons. "Oh, god, please tell me you weren't the ones outside knocking..."

Sebastian and Ciel nodded at once. Serena sighed.

"Since when do summoned demons appear at the front door like that? Why didn't you teleport in here earlier? And who is the red guy?"

"Grell, queen of the reapers," Grell cheered, doing that little rockstar sign on the side of his head.

"Queen?"

"Don't worry about it," Sebastian noted.

Serena shrugged. She walked up to Sebastian and observed him.

"Strange. You came to me as a kitten. You don't look like the cat type at all," she stated.

"Cat! I was a bloody cat!" snapped Ciel. Serena brought her attention to Ciel.

"You're the demon I comunnicated with? Then, who's this sexy man?" she asked.

"Ah ah ah! Back off my Bassie!" yelled Grell, pushing her away from Sebastian.

"And why is he here?! I'm confused!"

Sebastian, Ciel and Grell sat down with Serena and explained everything. She didn't know what to say.

"Still confused?" asked Grell.

"Any questions you need to ask?" asked Sebastian.

"Yes, why the hell didn't you just consume his soul when you had the chance?" Serena asked Sebastian. He sunk in his seat and hit his head off the table.

"I'm gonna take that as you don't know. So...due to this story, I would say that there aren't any limits. Ciel, I have a task for you. Right now."

Ciel looked nervously at Sebastian, hoping for an answer on how to take the comment. He looked back down at the table they all sat and thought of how he'd respond. All he could think to say at the moment was,

"Yes, My Lord?"

Sebastian face palmed. Grell laughed.

"Lord?" Serena stated.

"Eh..." whimpered Ciel, more embarrased then he ever was before. "Um...eh...I...uh...mm...Young Master?"

"Huh...? Aren't you young too? It gives you no right to call me young."

"What was your request, Mistress?" asked Sebastian, helping Ciel out.

"I want to kill Aunt Kyle. She's asleep on the couch in the living room. I command you to kill her. Now."

"Such an evil heart," Ciel replied. He stood up from the table and bowed to her the way Sebastian would. "it shall be done, my lord."


End file.
